Do you feel sometimes when the man you care about, says something you don’t like, or you take things personally? There are a few things that could happen: you want to run away from your feelings or you feel like you want to fight with him, and just make sure that he knows you are right? You might be thinking, “How dare he say something so insensitive to me?” Then you react, like a wildcat.
You get emotional. You get dramatic. Hopefully you don’t hit him over the head with a skillet. But what is happening isn’t really you. It’s you being triggered.
You might not mean to react with something nasty, but it just happens. You have an emotional trigger. You took all this time to make him his favorite lasagna dinner with candles and a nice bottle of red wine, and when he gets home he tells you that he had a late lunch and just isn’t hungry.
Yikes. You feel devastated.
You feel hurt and you wasted your entire afternoon shopping and preparing this amazing dinner for him. To top is all off, you got your hair done and he didn’t even notice. His insensitivity set off an emotional trigger for you.
And you are going to make him pay.
You make him feel bad for not being hungry and not noticing your hair. But he is not the only one who is going to pay.
Psychologists call these reactions the fight or flight response. It’s not your fault you reacted this way, but when it happens it can hurt your relationship with a man and yourself, because these reactions are not your Goddess self. These are anti-goddess responses. And boy are they icky.
He gets defensive or says something like “it must be that time of the month” or “Typical. Just like a woman.”
You might feel so angry a man would say something like that and maybe you don’t even respond. You just shut down like nothing is wrong. But you know it is. And he can feel your anti-goddess vibes.
Maybe you asked him to talk about it. Then he looked at you like you were crazy and says, “I’m going to watch TV.”
Is talking to your partner really too much to ask? Maybe on the spot it is for him, if you are emotional. Especially if you are both triggered.
When you have an emotional trigger you are not your true self. These emotions are linked to your sensory system and are on automatic from past experiences that made you feel the same way.
Here Are Some Physical Symptoms of Emotional Triggers
Increased Heart rate
Muscles Stiffness in Neck or Back
Choked up feeling in Your Throat
There are other bodily responses you can have, and if you are aware, you can notice these physical symptoms and learn to calm yourself down before you react with a man from your fight, flight or freeze response. You want to center yourself and come back when you are not having emotional triggers and respond in a mature feminine way.
If you feel overly emotional you can say something like, “I’m feeling stressed right now, and I would like to discuss this after I cool down. Take 5, 10 or however long you both need to cool down. Then you can come back to it. Maybe the next day.
The reactions you are having could go back to childhood or even from events that happened to you and your mother when you were in the womb. The triggers you have can also be from a past relationship with another man. You want to protect yourself from feeling hurt. You are in survival mode when you have an emotional trigger.
You can learn to center yourself. And the first step is to Breathe into your Heart. You can get to the heart of the matter of any situation just by taking a minute to focus on the love in your heart. Your brain and your heart are intimately connected and work together, but you have the choice to put your heart in charge.
Stay tuned for more Goddess & Heart Based Living!