Ways to improve your relationship, epic dating, epic love, epic relationships

9 Ways to Help Your Relationship

I’m excited to have the first guest blog post today from Dating and Relationship Blogger Sylvia Harmon. We’ve been focusing a lot on dating on this site, but this is for the folks who are in a relationship and are ready to spice things up in the romance department. When you’ve been with someone for a while, you can feel like you’re stuck in a rut. These ideas are great for singles who will someday be with that special someone! Enjoy the first guest blog post and please feel free to share with your friends.

Being in a relationship can be amazing and trying at times– sometimes the switch can occur across a few weeks or as little as a few sentences. But do you feel like your relationship has been more trying recently rather than amazing? While it’s natural to move through rough patches in a relationship, it’s more important that we know how to deal with them and move beyond them. I’ve compiled a list of 9 ways you can help your relationship and don’t worry, you can even use these tips if you are blissfully happy. It never hurts to take preventative measures.

1. Work on yourself

Before focusing on what’s wrong with your relationship, take a step back and look at yourself. Are you making yourself happy? Are you happy with your health, your job, your attitude, etc.? If not, then it’s time to work on you. The best way to be in love with someone else is to love yourself first.

2. Go on creative dates

Remember when you first met and the two of you would surprise each other with fun, new things to do? What happened? Now it’s just dinner with some shopping thrown in here and there. Get back out there, get dressed up, get explorative and take on the town, country, city, whatever! Here’s some ideas to get you started.

3. Surprise each other

In the same vein as above, think back to how you both used to surprise each other with little gifts, favors, and dates? Bring ‘em back. Plan an all-expenses paid weekend getaway for your partner. Bring them breakfast in bed or pick up their favorite coffee for no reason. Surprises don’t have to cost you a lot money, just think of small ways you can do something nice for your partner.

4. Get sexy in the bedroom

Ditch the good ole fifteen minute routine you guys have nailed down and try to experiment a little. Bust out some lingerie or sex toys from Adam and Eve, surprise them in the kitchen or car or start talking dirty. Breaking from your routine, even just a little, can make you feel totally invigorated.

5. Take time apart

It’s important to take some time apart if you live together or spend a lot of time together. Go visit a friend for the weekend, stay with your parents for a few days or simply just don’t call each other for a few days. The absence keeps you both aware of what you have and to not take each other or your time for granted.

6. Share secrets

Share some deep secrets with each other if you feel like you’ve lost the connection recently. Sharing with one another can cause you to form an automatic bond and have a deeper understanding of each other. It also builds the trust between the two of you and can make you feel much closer.

7. Get sexty

Send your boo a few racy texts during the workday the next time you feel like your attraction to each other has turned down a little. This is a great way to fire things back up. Run to the bathroom and snap a sexy pic for them or tell them what you’re going to do to them when they get home. The anticipation will get to both of you and keep you on you toes.

8. Know when to forget the past

The saying forgive and forget exists for a reason. If your partner did something in the past that you forgave them for, then it’s also time to forget it. It doesn’t help when you keep bringing up old issues or incidents. In fact, you’re causing more damage doing this than the original problem did. If they have moved on then it’s time for you to as well.

9. Explore new things together

Getting a little bored? Start exploring new hobbies together. Find something you both have in common, like wanting to cook better or learning how to rock climb and then set out to do it together. Experiencing something new with each other creates a bond as well as a support system for each other. Push each other and you’ll find that you’re happier than ever and no longer bored.
Sylvia Harmon is a sex and relationship blogger currently living in sunny Orlando, Florida.

Epic Dating and Three Boyfriends Later. Free Dating Advice For Women

I’m starting a Free dating advice for women blog series. It will consist of 10 lots of posts with plenty of advice for ladies only. I love the men who subscribe to my list too, so it’s actually for everybody.

We are coming together to figure out ourselves while we are having fun dating and maybe just finding a partner. One of the best parts of dating is finding ourselves.

But for now, you are single. I know, I know… Sometimes it sucks spending Friday night home alone. But that is a choice. You can actually get out outside of your comfort zone and change things up a bit. We are going to start with the free dating advice for women with a question.

This is a million dollar question, and I know not all women will answer yes. I know a few ladies who are cool as a cumber (myself included) and some ladies who have played it way too cool (myself included). Here goes…

Are you single because you are too dramatic?

No. Maybe. Well, there was that one time I freaked out, or yelled at my now ex-boyfriend or husband. OK, it’s a big YES. I have lost my temper in the past… And, oh yeah, I did forget about the time I threw a plate when he was late for dinner.

I started writing this because of something a man said.

I was at the gym last night and ran into a friend of mine who happens to be online dating (I’ve seen his little thumbnail more than once). He was all worked up over the wheel of fortune show that was on the TV at my local gym. It was really funny watching his reactions. His friend and I hit the hot tub for some relaxing after our hard work out.

He’s handsome, successful and very single. He said, “You women are crazy, except for you of course.” I agreed with the last part, and with some of the first part of what he said too.

I had not read enough free dating advice for women after my divorce, and I still hadn’t figured out who I what it was that I wanted.

I dated a few guys who were shall we say “a little more than a teensy bit toxic.” After dating those guys and “falling” for them, I had my guard up because those low self esteem toxic men tried to break me down with the way they spoke with me.

I was empathetic with the first guy because I knew his dad was a jerk, and he had been brain washed by Howard Stern, but I quickly exited the once lustful relationship because he talked about other women in front of me and wanted me to have sex with other people so he could watch. I didn’t cross that line because it wasn’t something I didn’t want to invite into my life (like his other previous lovers had allowed). I was sweet and understanding to a point.

Weekend after weekend of him saying “It’s all about your pleasure baby,” and me walking away confused and crying, it didn’t take long for me to end that toxic relationship. In every relationship I take away a golden nugget of wisdom and after I met him, I learned about forgiveness, boundaries and compassion.

The second guy I wasn’t quite as sweet and understanding. By the time I met him, well… I was feeling a bit feisty and independent. He became contemptuous when he didn’t let him tell me what do, and I went into survival mode.

I became even more independent after that one because I was so hurt from the way we I felt around him, and the way I let him treat me. Do you see I said, “I allowed him to treat me poorly,” but not for long.

After that second toxic relationship I was becoming bitter and afraid of opening my heart again. I learned once again what noxious traits were in a man.

And the third guy I met was as sweet as pie in the beginning. Until he would say something that wasn’t perfect, and I would fly off the handle, because I had been burned. We have all been there,I was not in control of my emotions at all, because I was independent, dammit, and I didn’t need a man, but I sure wanted one. I couldn’t do anything but push him away when he did come around.

But in my eyes, the man who was romancing me (or at least trying to) couldn’t seem to get anything right. I would question everything he said and did and was certainly no in control of my emotions and emasculated him every step of the way.

It ruined the relationship before it even got started. This is why I am doing what I am doing here. Because I don’t want you to miss out on a great guy because you can’t control yourself. I wish for you to gain confidence in your boundaries, your voice and saying what you need to say, without being “bitchy.” Being bitchy gets you nowhere real fast with a good guy.

I walked away from this one with yet another broken heart, and so much more wisdom. I learned how to not put a previous relationship in a new one. I also learned to receive and not be so controlling. And the biggie was learning how to have compassion and forgive myself. I was doing the best I could with what I knew.

After that man, I knew I needed to learn more about myself and me and keep control of my emotions, but NEVER hide them.

The best thing we can do when we are single, is to learn about ourselves and how to communicate authentically with men.

So if you want to more learn the best free dating advice for women, stay tuned for more ways to make your dating life epic.

5 Signs That You Are Having An Emotional Affair

 I had an emotional affair during my marriage and ended up leaving my husband thinking that the other man would be there waiting for me. Things sure didn’t turn out the way I expected. But then again, they often don’t. Learn how to recover from an emotional affair in this video.

1.  You feel that connection with the other person, not with your partner.

When you are having an emotional affair, it can be so confusing! You might have a partner, but you met this other guy. He wasn’t any instant chemistry. But you happen to work together, or you see him at the coffee shop every day. You can’t wait to see him, or talk to him again. You are hungry for something more from them, but you feel so confused.

2.  Your feelings for your ex are fizzling not sizzling.

When you see your partner, you can’t even imagine having sex with him again. And if you do, you are just hoping it will be over soon. Or maybe you are thinking about this other man while you are with your partner.

3.  The other person is fulfilling your emotional needs unlike your partner

Your partner just doesn’t seem to understand you like this guy. You can talk to him about anything, almost like a girlfriend. But he’s got some parts that your girlfriends just don’t have. Like those soft brown eyes and strong arms that could wrap around you like no other.

4. You feel conflicted about this other person, but you are still drawn to them, like a moth to a flame.

You are almost addicted to him. When you go to sleep you dream about him. When you wake up, you think about him. You imagine what it would be like to kiss him. To let him touch your hair and caress you as you make love.

5.  You would rather communicate with the person other than your spouse. 

When you want to share something special, like your best friend’s baby shower, you don’t even think about talking to your partner about it. Because he would probably not even care. And if he actually heard you would just say something like “oh, OK.”

The connection to you partner or boyfriends is becoming non-existent. This is exactly what happened to me when I was married. I met this man who listened to me, understood me and seemed to really care about me. Learn how to let go of an emotional affair.

I thought he was my soul mate and that we would be together forever. But I ended up leaving my husband thinking that he would come and rescue me. I thought that we would be together forever. That didn’t happen. In fact he went to another country and I have never seen him again.

Emotional affairs can devastate relationships just as much as a physical affair. It seems like an emotional affair is not as bad as a physical fling in a hotel. But they can be just as painful, especially after you put your heart on the line.  What are the other signs of an emotional affair?

Secrets To Attracting A Man With Basic Science & Your Feminine Goddess.

The properties of static electricity are like this: There are positive charges and negative charges. Positive and negative energy. Positive and negative charges are opposite, just like men and women in dating and relationships. Men and women naturally attract one another. One of the secrets to attracting a man is by remembering some simple principals of basic science.

These polar opposites are like the energy in men and women. Ying and Yang. Positive and negative. Opposites.  Opposite energies attract, and similar charges repel. When a woman is feminine and in her ying or negative energy and a man is masculine, with outward positive or yang energy they naturally attract one another (at least this is part of the puzzle), much more easily than if they are using similar energy.

So how does this science tie in to attracting a man? It means you need to embrace your feminine energy that is already inside of you. Problems arise in dating and relationships because we want the other person to be like us. We need to realize, understand and appreciate our differences. Just like we appreciate the sun and the moon. They are different, but both amazing. We need the dark and the light to survive. Our differences are a perfect balance of positive and negative; light and dark.

You are the ultimate feminine Goddess, naturally. Feminine energy is receptive and masculine energy is giving by nature.  Just look at our physical bodies. The differences in our sexual body parts, is an outward or inward indicator of how we are in general.  Men have penises and are very outward. Very yang. Aggressive, dominant, action oriented, focused and all of those other manly things.

Women by nature are more internal, or ying. Women are also more heart centered than men. We are sexually receptive to men. Men give and women receive. Physically men give to us, and go inside of us, when we are making love. His masculine energy literally goes inside of us, and at the same time we go even deeper into ourselves. We connect with our insides, our hearts and our feelings even more when we are stimulated there.

Women in their receptive feminine nature are mysterious. We are internal, the opposite of men and they are intrigued by our inner workings.  They love the receptive or ying energy of feminine Goddess women. We are the energetically negative and the men are energetically positive. Knowing this secret is the first step to attracting a man. Or lots of men. Check some out here on match.com.

When we get in our masculine or yang energy by too much action: giving too much doing too much and saying too much, we are being outward and masculine. This pushes them away. We are being the givers and doers and leaving nothing for the man to do. This also makes him more in his receptive feminine energy.  This is not where a man wants to be. This principal of opposites attracting one another, is also a principal of dating and relationships. When we are too yang, it pushes and repels men in the opposite direction.

When we act like a man we repel them, because we are not in our feminine nature. When we are in our receptive feminine Goddess selves, we are much more powerful. When we are receptive to a man instead of being like a man, they are attracted to us. When we give too much we can feel like a doormat, not a Goddess.

There are lots of secrets inside of every woman and when we allow a man to come to us and discover our mysteries one by one, things can only get better. By dating you will learn the art of receiving and learn to receptive. Get out there and start dating!

Love Dating & Yourself With Some New Panties.

So you’ve been single for a while and it seems like you haven’t had sex in a year (actually, it’s probably been more than a year). And hopefully, you anticipate the day of being with a man that turns you on, and treats you like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. It all starts with feeling good about yourself and buying some new panties. Want to attract a man like a sexy 21 year old?

The guy you went out with last week that talked about his mom way too much was not Mr Right. There were no sparks there, at all. You could never compete with his mom anyway. She is beautiful. She is still doing his laundry. And she is packing his fabulous prosciutto and fresh mozzarella bruschetta every day, and he’s 42 years old. No thanks, you’re already busy enough packing your own kid’s lunch and you really don’t want to sign up for another kid with stinkier socks.

When you were waiting on pictures to be printed at the pharmacy, you noticed that condoms were buy one get one half off, and so were all the warming oils. Geez, you thought to yourself, there’s no reason to buy either of those items, unless I want to make greased up balloon animals. How many more dates will you have to go on anyway before you think about getting rid of the granny panties and hit up Victoria Secret? I think you need to get your booty to the underwear section ASAP! Confused about men?

Well, clean out your underwear drawer and get some new undies.It will make you feel sensual. If you’ve got some ugly ones that make you feel unsexy it’s time to step it up girl. Get some new skivvies that make you feel delicious on the outside, because feeling sexy will make you feel great on the inside. When you take care of how you look even under your clothes, where no one can see, you will feel great. Embrace every womanly curve you have and love your self, that is another step to being single and learn to love dating.

Get rid of any, and I mean any undies that are stained, unappealing, or even slightly granny-ish. Get out the check card and head to the ladies department Go with some girlfriends and get fitted for the right size bra. When your undergarments are comfortable and sexy it’s even better. You will feel pampered in this silky department.

When you are looking for some new skivvies you are treating yourself well. You are taking care of your inner Goddess on the outside. It does wonders for your insides. Enjoy your experience of being in ultra-feminine section of the mall. Look at all the wonderful colors. Feel what colors your body would like to wear to make you feel the best. When you are at home get a full length mirror and try on your new purchase.

Appreciate the silkiness and the sexiness that you can wear and only you will know. Look at yourself in the mirror and know that you are the feminine Goddess that men find irresistible. If a man were to see you as you are now he would not be analyzing any cellulite or your you-think-are-weird shaped toes. He will be enamored with your feminine beauty. This is what men crave. A woman who is comfortable with themselves and feel sexy in the body they are blessed to be given.

When you put on your sassy black peek-a-boo bra and lace underwear, you will feel like a million bucks. And you didn’t have to spend a million bucks. You can get cute undies in any department store. When you feel good about yourself down to your undies your date will feel it. When you are feeling good and your self esteem is high, it’s really hard to have a bad time, no matter how boring your date is. At least you can have a chat with the cute waiter or make a new friend in the ladies room and only you will know about the new panties and how sexy they are.

Dating is so much fun especially when you have on cute undies. You can love yourself and love dating.

I’m such a sucker for fireworks. This is a story about fireworks, but not just about fireworks. It’s about life, and sometimes how we feel. Sometimes we hold on. We hold on things that we can’t hold. But we try.

I was driving home from a small town one night. As I was cruising down the freeway, I saw all these beautiful fireworks. It made me think about my life, and how sometimes there are fireworks that just blow me away. So I’m driving toward this awesome fireworks display. I think it’s the grand finale. I’m driving closer and closer. Then I realize I have to make a turn away from the fireworks, and I’m not going to be able to see them anymore.

I didn’t really want to let them go. But I didn’t have a choice if I wanted to sleep that night. So I made the turn, and I start driving down this new road, and I let them go. I didn’t have a choice. The new road started heading toward the fireworks. Oh goody! I get to see the fireworks again. I thought this is great, maybe that wasn’t the grand finale, and I’ll get to see it after all. The grand finale began, and there was one amazing firework in particular, it sparkled out so far and wide. It wasn’t a traditional star-burst one. It was a new design I had never seen before.

This special firework connected with the sky, and I felt so connected to the fireworks myself. But, I realized that I had to let these fireworks go too. The road made twists and turns away from the fireworks display.

It’s was the end of the night, I had a great day, and there was a big fireworks display. But it eventually came to an end, at least in my perception. But the fireworks always happen again, if you want them to. So you keep making those turns in the path of your life. Sometimes there will be fireworks, and sometimes there are no fireworks. Sometimes you even have to drive away because there’s no other choice. The fireworks are a good reminder that sometimes things just fade away. But fireworks always come back. There is beauty in fireworks. And you have a spark inside of you that is just like that.

The spark inside of you is one thing that you don’t have to hold on to. It’s already there. You just need a little inspiration to light it up so you can find your most amazing potential. Your own personal sparkly, beautiful light that will light up the night sky. You have the potential to light up a room with your smile.

Try it. Be brave and smile at that handsome guy at the coffee shop. It might ignite something more exciting than a firecracker in his pants. You have more light than any firework I can ever imagine.