I was in the coffee shop getting ready to get busy (and no I don’t mean “get busy”), and write my blog. I was totally appreciating that I still had a few bucks on my coffee card. This yummy large mocha only cost me sixty cents plus tip. Not a bad way to start out my afternoon.

I was getting settled in my seat and the girls beside me were praying, it was so sweet. What good vibe company, I thought. I couldn’t help but overhearing part of their conversation. One girl said a friend told her, “If you need help with someone, ask someone who is already busy because they will get it done.” That makes sense. “Busy people know how to handle it.

What I overheard relates to your dating and love life. So get busy so you can get someday get busy with that someone special.

 1. Get busy taking epic time out for yourself.

When you make the time to take care of yourself you will release oxytocin, the feel good hormone. Taking time out for yourself doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. You can take a bubble bath, walk in nature or write some poetry. Do something to let your mind go and bring your hear to the surface. Get busy doing a little dancing. I’ve included the video Sean Paul “get busy.” This is a great song to dance to!

2. Get busy getting outside of your comfort zone.

After you are good and feeling good, do something unusual. You don’t need to go skydiving or bungee jumping. Take a different route on your way to work. You might see something or someone you normally wouldn’t run in to. Routine is nice sometimes, but when you break it, it opens you up to new experiences. Try a new cereal or say hi to a stranger. It only gets easier.

3. Get busy making your online profile epic.

You want to stand out from the crowd. Many online profiles are boring and don’t connect with a man’s emotions. But first you need great pictures. Men need that initial attraction and they want to be with someone who is flirty and happy. So smile or have a “what’s she thinking saucy smile. Write about your feelings and what you are looking for in a partner and don’t settle for the big stuff that is important to you.

If smoking is a deal breaker for you, then don’t date a smoker. Smoking was a deal breaker for me, but I thought…”He’s so cute and a great kisser, maybe I’ll just take him for a test drive.” But when he left the restaurant to smoke and would go in for a stinky kiss, it did not work out. But you can be flexible on what restaurant you are going to for dinner. The little stuff is Ok to flex on.

4. Get busy dating because you will learn how to handle it.

When you start dating, the more you do it, the easier you will be with yourself. If you don’t have any practice when Mr. Handsome shows up, you might not have the courage to say how you really feel or you might be so nervous you can’t even speak. The more you date, the more comfortable you will become with men.

Follow these simple tips to help your dating love and relationship life become epic! This is your life and you can create a life you want if you have some simple guidelines.

I was going through my hundreds of emails that I receive every day and I found one that really piqued my interest from a martial arts master and previous solid gold dancer that I went on a couple of dates with.

It’s called Ladies Only Self-Defense Group. Is this how you approach dating?

If it is, it will never work.

Trust me. I’ve been there and done that.

Defending yourself is the fastest way to push a man OUT of your life.

Do you always have to be right?

Do you compete with the man you’re interested in with you wit and intellect?

Do you keep your guard up?

The only way to a man’s heart is to let your defenses down.

This is how to let him in. Because if can’t see who you really are, he’ll never know the real you. The real you that any man will adore.

The real you who is true to herself.

When you let your guard down and your vulnerability goes up. This is what will make a man feel safe with you.

If you are guarded and say what you think he wants to hear, this is like a well lit EXIT sign in the back of the restaurant. He will walk right out the door if he can’t see the real emotional you.

When you are open and honest about who you are and the way you feel, it will make him feel

safe. And he’ll be able to let his guard down so you can actually see the real “him”.

If you’re guarded and afraid, he’ll also be guarded and afraid.

If you are open to your feelings, it will help him get in touch with his feelings.

So take of the sparring pads and become vulnerable.

Learn to tune in to your feelings.

Your feelings are your guide to who you really are.

Don’t be someone who you think you “should” be.

Be you. Be authentic. Trust your feelings and don’t be afraid to show them. Men love it.