Q Me and my boyfriend have been dating for quite a while now. He is 20 and I’m 21. We really cared for each other. He would buy me expensive make-up brushes, he gave me his dvd player and his 999GB external hard drive for my laptop. We would see each other every day and go out and we always had a good time. The last time we hung out which was last Saturday, it was just an ordinary day of being together. We had a good time spending the day together. We talked about what we were going to do for Valentine’s day and what he was going to get for me. When he dropped me off at home we kissed and said good bye and told each other to get on steam to play a game before we went to bed. So we played a game on steam like we usually do at night and after we were done we I’m on steam good night and we will see each other the next day. So the next day goes by (Sunday), I went to work then came home and tried to I’m him on steam that I was home but I noticed that he blocked me. I tried calling him and texting him after that but he would not answer so I just thought he was busy and maybe he would call later but he never did. So Monday morning I sent him a text saying why did you block me and why are you ignoring me. He replied twenty minutes later saying, “Don’t pretend that you don’t know, just leave me alone.” I was shocked, I texted back saying I don’t understand what you are talking about, please talk to me but he would not talk to me no matter how many texts or calls I made. Well on Tuesday I talked with my friend about it and she made me text him to get at least closure. So I said “I don’t understand what it is I am suppose to know, can you please tell me so I can fix it instead of leaving me hanging.” He replied “If you’re still going to feign ignorance I’ve lost any last respect I had for you as a person. Please f*** off. I told him I am not being ignorant and he is a jerk for putting the blame on me and acting like I have done something. Clearly I have not because you can not even give me a reason for you doing this out of the blue. So why could he not just say I am not interested in you anymore? Why did he have to take this way and play a big mind game? My friends say probably two to three months he is most likely going to try to contact me again because he left it so one-sided and that he most likely did something and is seeing someone else. I’m just dumbfounded as to why he would be a jerk just out of the blue and not even give me a reason. Most normal people would at least give a reason as to why they are doing this
A It hurts so much when you’re in a position like this. I know it hurts to walk away, buts when a guy tells you to F-off, he does not deserve you attention. guys don’ t want you to “fix” anything, it makes them feel emasculated. You have texted and called him multiple times and it does not change the fact that he mis-treated you. The best thing is to not contact him. Focus on taking care of yourself. Take a bubble bath and cry if you need to. Vent to your girlfriends, but don’t expect expert advice from them. If he does contact you, tell him how you feel, without blaming him for anything. Guys don’t want to be the bad guys and break-up with you, so it’s easier for them to leave you hanging. He may be trying to put the blame on you instead of accepting blame for himself. It will hurt, but this experience will make you stronger. I want you to journal about all the yucky feelings you have and get them all out. Be as mean as you want, because nobody else will read this. But don’ t read it for at least 5 months. But you need to get out these feelings.
Then, I want you to make a list. Not of him, but a list of things you want in a boyfriend. Things like: A guy who treats me with respect. A guy who hugs me when I cry. A guy who likes to treat me like a queen. Focus on the things you do want in the next guy. when you’re done grieving, another guy with these traits will come along!
You are loved and deserve to be treated like a princess.
Please send me any questions you have, I love to answer your questions!