You don’t want to look like the couple in this picture do you? If not, keep reading… I just finished up an article for Your Tango talking about Effective Communication For Great Dates: Learn It Love It & Use It. In the article I go over the three EPIC Things you can do to be an effective communicator. It really got me thinking about what goes wrong when you first meet a new guy and why you never hear from him again. Did the first date conversation make you feel like a complete dork?
That’s OK. But you’ve got to learn some basic communication skills to be a great date and get a second date with that cutie. This article is going to give you a 4 step cheat sheet to having effective communication in relationships even if you don’t have a serious one yet. Maybe you are out of practice, and you haven’t had that many first date conversations. So what’s a gal to do?
That my beautiful friends is called practice. So what are you supposed to practice? Learn the 20 Rules for your First Online Date.
1. Making Eye Contact
Have you ever talked with someone and they didn’t look in your eyes once? When you don’t have eye contact in your first date conversation, they poor guy will feel totally disconnected and you will never hear from him again. Practice making eye contact with everyone you meet even if it makes you feel uncomfortable.
You will get over it. When I was younger I never looked anyone in the eye because I was so self-conscious. I was in theater class in High School and the director made me look one of my classmate in the eye during an improve. I thought I was going to die. I couldn’t keep a straight face. Thankfully I got it over the eye-contact thing when I was a teenager. But if you have problems with this now, you will get over it with practice.
Smiling tells the world how you feel, and if you feel happy, people want to know it. And men want to be with a person who is for the most part happy. Even if you don’t feel on top of the world, or fee like smiling, there are theories and scientific evidence supporting that smiling (even when you don’t feel like it) will make you feel happier. So make smiling a daily practice and be happy.
3. Not Smiling
If you are having a first date conversation and your date brings up a topic that displeases you (like talking about bodily fluids over dinner, ewww…), you can drop the smile and tell them politely “That kind of talk feels kind-of gross to me,” then be quiet. You can focus yourself on how good your grilled salmon salad is and let him come up with something else to talk about. It’s OK to let a guy know about something you do not care for. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be authentic! Spirit Junkie~ Gabrielle Bernstein says so, and I agree!
4. Playing Popcorn
If you want to have effective communication in your first date conversation, don’t fill up all the space with your words, or sit there like a sloth not saying a word. If you are with an Alpha man let him come up with some topics and you can respond to it with playful responses, and Segue with a follow-up question. It’s easy. Keep the conversational popcorn popping. And if you don’t know what to say you can actually say,” I feel nervous and I don’t really know what to say,” and flash him a goofy smile. It will let him know that even though you are nervous you still are connecting with him.
When you want to have Effective Communication In Relationships, it starts with your first interaction with a man. Men love to feel connected to a woman, especially when they are on a date. If they feel disconnected, they will look for someone else who gets them and listens to them. There are so many things to help a man feel connected. It feels good to be connected, so start connecting. You won’t be sorry. Get your booty on over to my Facebook page to connect with me and learn more EPIC Dating, Love and Relationship advice to make your life even more awesome!
Lots of Love!
Dina Z Colada
EPIC Dating, Love & Relationships