One of my readers wants to know if a guy likes her— does he, or doesn’t he? And I want her, (and YOU) to take the focus off of the question and put your focus on the solution: exactly how to flirt with a man.
Because so many guys don’t “get” it.
You could hit a guy over the head with a brick doused with hot pink glitter puffy paint that says “I like you!” covered in heart stickers, and he will think you were aiming at the guy behind him and just “throw like a girl”.
But I know and you know that you have a heck of an arm… there is just no man on it— yet.
Recently, I was out with a great guy friend of mine at one of my favorite local restaurants, and a woman at the bar was obnoxiously hitting on him.
She was touching him, smiling like crazy, getting close, flipping her hair, batting her eyes— doing EVERYTHING she could do to get a hint of his attention.
While we were walking out of the restaurant, I mentioned her interest in him… and he had NO idea. He hadn’t noticed her peacock displays of affection.
Guys need more than one sign. Multiple times. And in different ways. And sometimes they still won’t make a move.
Here is Shelly’s question: There is man I’m really attracted to. He is so sweet looking, and handsome.
I began showing him interest by making eye contact, but he didn’t always look back. My friend told me that she saw him watching me when I wasn’t looking.
After a couple of weeks, he finally smiled at me. This week we smile at each other every time we pass each other in the hall.
I feel like I’m giving him the signals that I like him, by smiling and making eye contact when we see each other, but he’s not making a move. I’m pretty shy and have never made the first move before.
I think guys should make the first move, especially if a girl seems interested. I think he likes me but isn’t putting in any effort. I’m so confused! Should I just give up?
Don’t give up hope, Shelly!
There are lots of reasons why he might not be hitting on you, (and we will never know for sure unless we ask him).
His girlfriend from Holland is coming in next month.
He might be getting over his psycho ex that called him every night at 3am.
He could be as shy… or even more shy than you.
Even sexy men are afraid of rejection.
He’s in debt and can’t afford to ask you out on a date.
He’s not emotionally available.
We will never really know what he is feeling or thinking— we can only guess.
For now, embrace the unknown and know that there IS something you can do.
Smile more. Because one smile a day or week isn’t enough.
Keep doing what you are doing, and do more of it— and read the next 3 bullet points.
How to flirt with a man you really like in 3 Easy Steps
When you see him…
- Smile (Not a big toothy grin— give him a sexy-flirty-coy smile). And hold his gaze, even if you face gets red. Look away.
Smile again and hold his gaze for a couple seconds— it will seem like an eternity! Then look away. (You don’t want to ogle him and seem creepy).
Smile AGAIN, and hold his gaze for a few more seconds.
Whew! All done… 3 times is a charm.
That will let him know that you are very approachable and available. If you only smile at him once in a sitting, he might think you are being friendly, and you smile at all the guys you pass in the hall.
If he is still too shy, you can approach him first and say, “Hi,” (while your heart pounds out of your chest), and he will probably say, “Hi” back.”
It’s not 1950 anymore, and it’s OK if a woman approaches a guy first.
If you do choose to say that voice-trembling 2-letter word that you’ve been saying since you were 13 months old, it doesn’t mean you have to lead the conversation after that.
He is probably just as nervous as you (or more!), so… in the first 10 seconds you can give him a break and force yourself to say “Hi,” first.
There have probably been millions of wild romantic relationships that started with a conversation that begins with a mere 4 letters.
Imagine for a minute: what would happen if you never talk to each other. Then, one day— his schedule changes and you don’t bump into him again… AND he won’t have your number. You miss out on the old, “What could have been”.
It’s crazy that it is so hard for us to say 2 letters in our enormous vocabulary. So you can do it— if he doesn’t make the first move.
Or— you can just keep smiling, and hoping, and waiting to see what happens— or you can just put on you big girl pants and say it!
It doesn’t have to be an earth moving conversation starter. Just 2 letters. Practice with your friends. Practice in the mirror. Practice in your head as you ride in the elevator. Then say it as you see him walking toward you in those sexy jeans— no matter how much your hands are sweating.
I have guy friends who have liked women for MONTHS and never made a move, because they were afraid of the rejection— and so are you.
So don’t miss your window of opportunity. Because people who have regrets only think of the things they didn’t do.
Now, the question is… What are you going to do?