In our society, it seems like everyone knows the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. So many sites (including this one) coach people on what to avoid, but most people don’t really think of relationship “green lights.” 

A healthy relationship is one of those things that makes people believe in a happily ever after. However, they’re exceedingly rare. So, how can you tell if you have a legitimately healthy one? There are some early signs of a good relationship and we’re going to take a look at the top signs to give you a better clue in…

You don’t feel like you need to walk on eggshells or lie.

Living with unhealthy relationships often means that you have a need to tiptoe around your partner. Sometimes, this can involve things like lying about what you feel like doing. Other times, it could be so bad that you may need to lie about hanging out with friends or family. This is a big fat sign that you’re in a toxic relationship. 

This is done out of fear of a partner blowing up at you, leaving you, or just not liking you for who you are. In other words, it’s a very ugly, unhealthy way to go through life. Some people never know what does a healthy relationship feel like— the lucky ones do know. 

A classic sign of a happy relationship is not feeling the need to hide aspects of your life from your partner. When your partner accepts you as you are, you don’t have a need to tiptoe around them.

It doesn’t feel forced.

A wise person once said that relationships are a lot like farts. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap. Healthy relationships don’t feel forced and don’t feel like you’re both “stuck” together for one reason or another. You don’t feel like you’re in a toxic relationship and need to break up STAT. That’s a good sign. 

If you feel like you’re in the relationship of your own choosing rather than pressure to stay with your partner, then it’s healthy. Otherwise, you probably should split.

Your partner encourages you to be a better version of yourself. 

Toxic relationships are often characterized by the fact that one partner makes a conscious effort to hold the other back. Sometimes, they hold the other back from seeing friends, or it could be holding the other back from a career. If you’re leaving a bad relationship, you can heal and come out feeling much much better. 

A partner that actively encourages you to chase your dreams—regardless of what they may be—is a healthy partner choice for you. A partner that tries to pressure you into something you don’t want to be, on the other hand, is not.

You honestly have been feeling healthier since you two got together. 

When you were single, you drank frequently and rarely went out to dance. Nowadays, you and your partner are both physically active and looking great. In fact, you both started to lose weight and hit the gym! Sound familiar?

Having a relationship that encourages healthy habits is a rarity, but it’s also the ultimate “green flag” in a relationship. Congrats! You have a super healthy relationship if this is true!

Your partner never tears you down. 

Unhealthy relationships are famous for having partners that constantly criticize, belittle, or taunt their significant others. This is a form of emotional abuse that eventually makes you feel like you aren’t worth love or affection. 

Think about how you feel when you’re around your partner, or after you just saw them. Do you feel more confident in yourself? Do you feel like you are inspired enough to take on the world? If so, congrats! You’re in a healthy relationship!

The good times far outweigh the bad. 

I call this the 80/20 rule. It’s never a good sign if you’re the couple that never argues, simply because that means one partner isn’t being truthful about how they feel. However, arguing all the time is not okay, either. 

In a healthy relationship, you will have a maximum of 20 percent of your time feeling upset, with 80 percent of your time being filled with joy and laughter. It’s realistic, don’t you think?

You don’t feel the need to stray and infidelity isn’t even on the horizon in your relationship.

Admittedly, this isn’t always the case. Though it’s terrible to admit, there are some people who will cheat on their partner regardless of how good their partner is to them. Sometimes, people just are rotten like that. 

However, there is still something to be said about infidelity. You will never find a healthy relationship that involves infidelity. In fact, most healthy relationships also won’t involve people feeling tempted to stray. It’s food for thought. 

There’s no need to feel like you have to do the “Pick Me” dance.

Did you ever have a group of people you desperately wanted to impress, but who never seemed like they wanted you around? Most of us have. If you have ever experienced this, you know the feeling people get when they start doing everything possible to just try to get their attention. It’s often called the “Pick Me” dance.

One of the early signs of a healthy relationship when dating is that things feel easy. When love is mutual, there’s no need to feel like you have to aggressively pursue or prove yourself to your partner. You feel accepted and desirable. If you don’t feel that way, it’s usually a sign that you’re not with the right person. And you can get yourself ready for love with a new more compatible partner. 

Your sex life is satisfactory. 

Sex is a strange element in relationships. It often acts as a barometer that helps people get a better understanding of their relationship’s health. One of the key differences between a healthy vs unhealthy relationship is the way that sex is approached. 

A healthy sex life is one that is active (if both parties want it to be active), mutually enjoyable, and leaves both partners feeling satisfied. Sex, after all, is a measure of intimacy. It’s what makes most adult relationships something aside from friendships. 

In a healthy relationship, sex doesn’t feel like a chore. It’s not monotonous (unless that’s your ‘thing’) and it feels passionate. Sex in a good relationship leaves you feeling happy and loved. It makes you feel desired and desirable. 

The love you feel is more contented than a whirlwind.

Romance novels often give us this idea that romance is always supposed to be a whirlwind, where your partner always leaves you guessing. This isn’t actually true. In fact, most of the healthiest relationships aren’t really all chasing and wild sex—though that does happen from time to time. 

Rather, healthy relationships are more about comfort and contentment. You’re happy. You’re chill. You still sometimes get butterflies, but it’s usually more of a mellowness than anything else. You’re content, happy, and got a good lot in life. Sounds like you? Congrats. You have a healthy relationship!