So you’ve been on OK Cupid for a while, and you’ve gone out with at least one guy a week for a few months.  It seems like by now you’ve gone out with every man within a 25-mile radius of your house. Is it time to look for someone far and start dating long distance? Because you haven’t met that one guy you just clicked with around the corner, ya know?

Then you think…maybe if you expand your search radius to 50 miles you’ll meet that one special man that makes your heart skip a beat. You proceed to go out with any decent-looking guy that has a job within those 50 miles. You line up date after date and you really thought the guy you were meeting last night had some potential, but he showed up to dinner wearing a SPAM t-shirt, shorts that looked like they were from the 80’s and really bad athletic flip flops.

You come home from your date and get back on the computer to check your messages. There is a promising one in your inbox. It’s from a really handsome guy with great grammar and you think… there’s just something about him.

You get out your Google map and check the distance and he lives 178 miles away. You were thinking 75 miles was your max but those piercing blue eyes were saying “hey sweetie, maybe you should reconsider just dating locally,”  so you give him your number and you have a couple phone conversations and some really sexy text messaging. You think about dating long distance and start to wonder if it can really work. There are 3 things you’ve gotta have to make this kind-of-thing work, and if you’ve ever been a doormat, you can learn how to stop that here.

1.   20 Extra Bucks.

Use this money for unlimited text messaging on your cell plan, because you are going to need it. Even if you’re not a big into text messaging now, I guarantee you’re gonna get really fast with those thumbs. When you’re dating long distance, keeping in touch via text message about what’s going on in your life and it will help you feel more connected. Talking on the phone is great. Sending pictures to each other will make you feel not quite so far apart too. And don’t forget about some serious flirting with your words, trust me you’ll both feel it.

2.  Patience

You might want to see him today, but with considering kids, cash and work, you are just going to have to wait. You might have to wait 10 days, or maybe even more. They say patience is a virtue and if you are dating long distance, you will have loads and loads of virtue. If you are not online dating, you need to be!

3.  The Skill of Allowing

Abraham and Esther and Jerry Hicks (my current favorite teachers) speak about not trying to control things, and letting the universe bring things to you in the right time. When let go of control and focus on doing what makes you feel good that is the key to having a healthy relationship when you’re dating long distance.

Dating long distance is not for everyone. But if you learn to go with the flow, dating long distance can work beautifully. When you are apart, take good care of yourself and do whatever it is that makes you feel good. Dating long distance can be very freeing because you will have plenty of time to figure out what makes you happy by yourself. If you can do this, you will learn to appreciate the time you spend apart and savor the waiting… and while your apart the anticipation and flirting will reach a tipping point, and when you do come together, it will be truly magnificent. Before you get together, learn the art of flirting.