There are myths you tell yourself that keep you from getting the love you want.

There are things in your mind you can change to help you attract true love that can improve your love life forever

It is true that divorce rate has dramatically risen since Neil Armstrong put a flag on the moon. The nuclear family isn’t what everyone has anymore.

There are single moms, step-parents, boyfriends that come and go and everything in between.

Relationships are as complicated as politics, and it seems like we will never sort that all out. The things that complicate our relationships start in our minds.

I’m going to blame it on the movies.

Every man should make grand gestures like John Cusack

Romantic comedies are somewhat predictable. Two people that are challenged in the romance department bump into each other in a department store. They make goo-goo eyes go on a date. Then go through some emotional roller coaster that makes you wonder if they will ever make it.

Of course, they make it in the movies.

Happily ever after isn’t thinking isn’t the way to attract true love.

Real life doesn’t always work out perfectly, but our subconscious minds tell us that our lives should be like the movies. Perfect.

Prince Charming is what all the girls dream of, and if a man doesn’t sweep us off our feet after the first date, then well… it’s over.

We write him off and move onto the next swipe.

The “He should know what I want” mentality isn’t the way to attract true love

I was on a first date and was wondering if he would open the door for me when we went to the restaurant.

So I dug around in my purse like I had a penny I had to find right now, and of course, there never was a penny.

I just wanted to see what he would do about the door situation. I was remaining in my receptive feminine mode.

He put change in the meter, looked at his phone, looked in his wallet, and finally opened the driver’s side door, stuck his head in and said,” So, are you coming?”

I said, “I was just wondering if you were going to open the door for me.”

He was obviously embarrassed and said, “Oh my gosh!” scurried over to my door, and opened it for me.

Ever since then he opened every door, pulled out my chair and was chivalrous. I appreciated him every time he used good manners. He just didn’t know any better.

He was previously married, divorced with kids and probably have hands full of groceries and diaper bags to open the door for his wife.

To get our needs met, we need to let a man know what we like, and what we don’t want, because he is not a mind-reader, he is a man and doesn’t know what is going on in your mind unless you tell him.

Craig Malkin a clinical psychologist, and instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical Schoolsaid researchers segment the perceptions of people’s relationship behaviors scaled from “destiny beliefs” and “growth benefits.”

Attracting true love doesn’t always happen by a man sweeping you off your feet

The destiny belief mentality loves romantic myths like like at first sight; love will conquer all the idea of that one perfect person that is a soul mate.

Then there are the growth believers, and these people understand that love takes work. People need to better themselves to make their relationships flourish.

The people who have happier more extended relationships because they know that it takes commitment to make it work for the long term.

Obsessing over “I lost my soul mate” won’t help you attract true love

When you have the thought that there is only one soul mate for you it hurts. Then if you think you lose “the one” your feelings can spiral out of control, and make you feel like you have nowhere left to turn.

People in movies attract true love in a short one hour and 58 minutes. Not enough time to have too much mess— yet.

So let go of the love at first sight, because it is lust. There isn’t just one man that is right for you. There are many.

So if a man doesn’t sweep you off your feet on the first date, give him a second chance. He might surprise you with his charms the second time around.