It’s almost turkey day (except for the vegetarians and people who don’t celebrate this incredible holiday).  The best thing about Thanksgiving besides the green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, and the raw food I always bring to the table, is the though of giving thanks.

If you are single and ready for love, giving thanks and appreciating things in your life help you love yourself and in the end find the love you want.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. Your really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” ― Lucille Ball

Lucy said it best didn’t she? If you don’t love yourself, how in the world can anyone love you back? You start with gratitude. Thanks. It is thanksgiving in 2 days, but I like to give thanks EVERY day! Don’t give up on love!

How to Love Yourself in 3 steps. They might not happen overnight, but trust me, these steps will work.

You might be thinking… “I don’t know anything about this! I hate myself right now. I’ve got nothing good going on in my life. I need to lose 20 pounds (ok maybe 40), I hate my job AND my cat died. Have trouble letting go of the past?

Ok there is a lot of negativity going on it that sentence, and a lot of people talk to themselves like that every single day. Geez, no wonder you’re having trouble in the love department. There are a few steps to learn how to love yourself again.

  1. You have to forgive yourself
  2. You have to change your habits
  3. You have to be diligent so your habits become beliefs.

I talk to clients who are desperately looking for love, but don’t feel good enough, attractive enough or people tell them they are too negative. The statement above is pretty darn negative; do you want to be around someone like that?

If you had a friend that talked to you the way you talk to yourself, would you still be their friend? Probably not.

I you are negative on the inside, people will see it on the outside and it will push them away.

What is even worse is PRETENDING that everything is just grand, and your feelings don’t match up with what you are saying. So what can you do?

There are 3 ways to get yourself away from the nasty talk in your head.

  • Take your attention away from that “problem” area
  • Focus on something different
  • Reverse what you are saying to yourself.

If you think your hips are too big, and it’s really BIG issue for you, and you don’t think you can love them right this second… it’s better for you to take the focus off of what you are not loving and focus on something different.

Find something that you DO appreciate. If you are really down in the dumps, if you start simple this is how to love yourself, starting the easy way. When you love yourself it makes flirting WAY more fun!

You just have to have to be a physical trait either. It can be something internal or something external

  • I am blessed to have such an amazing family
  • I am so happy to eat mashed potatoes, and I didn’t even have to make them.
  • I appreciate the sun is shining today.
  • I’m amazed at the light bulb turning on when I flip the switch.
  • I have running water and I really like modern conveniences.

Once you get good at that then you can move onto something in yourself.

Find something. Anything that you DO love in yourself.

  • I have really nice skin.
  • My eyes are very interesting to look at.
  • My arms are just the right size, no monkey arms here people!
  • I am appreciated at my office, nobody can do things just like I do there, and I am thankful to have today off!

Keep at it! You will learn how to love yourself again if you keep practicing Thanks every day and just not on Thanksgiving. They only take a few minutes a day. If you get stuck in a traffic jam, you can take a moment to appreciate things slowing down a little. You can be amazed at the flock of birds flying by in perfect harmony.

Then you can look yourself in the rear-view mirror and say, “I am so lucky to be alive. I really appreciate the fact that I have my car to get me where I need to go.  I appreciate myself in every little way that I can come up with. My eyes really are beautiful. In fact, I love what I can see in there. And I’m even really starting love myself.

If you want to learn more about how to love yourself check out Margaret Paul Ph.D.