When two adult people go on a first date, the longevity of this new “relationship” depends on yours (and his) mentality and free will. After a one night stand happens, you might decide you really like this guy. You have all kinds of thoughts like, “Should I contact after a one night stand?” or “What are the signs your one-night stand likes you?” If you’re thinking these things, you are probably wondering how to turn a one night stand into a relationship.

happy couple in a lake

What guys think after a one night stand

One guy on a dating forum said: “I can’t have sex with a girl unless I’m really attracted to her.” Another one said, “It’s much more thrilling and exciting when there are a chase and some form of banter and chemistry between two parties.” And another dude said, “Sometimes it’s fun going balls deep into a girl you don’t care about at all and know will never see again.”

So if you have bumble one night stands, you don’t really know where the guy stands

How mature are they? Do they want more than just a fling? Their experience of this first date can have a long-lasting influence on their thoughts about a relationship (or not). Some men and women may go on dates or meeting and hooking up to enjoy the fun of a one-night stand. This attitude harms the idea of a real relationship for many singles and may turn away their potential lovers. 

Some couples state their beautiful experiences of first dates from online dating where both partners enjoyed the quality time together even when they had sex on the first date. Relationships do happen after one-night stands— sometimes.

Sometimes a hookup doesn’t work out either so be prepared

On the other hand, some people may tell you about their awful experiences on first dates, as their partners might be selfish in bed and utterly opposite to what they wanted as ideal lovers. So it is natural that you may feel a bit scared before your first date with an unknown person whom you have met online on a dating site. 

So if you want a relationship to begin with the best way to start off is not sleeping with them right away. 

But if you’ve already done the deed…

How To Get Ready For First A Date

A successful (even sexual) first date can lay the foundation of a healthy and long-lasting relationship

So if the booty was delish the first time around, a guy might want to come back for seconds.  

However, many couples get physically intimate on their first dating, and my non-scientific data shows that it’s usually under the influence of alcohol. Some people follow the natural animal instinct of sleeping with their partners on their first meeting. It’s primal and can be fun. But . . .

Even if you have a good old fashioned hiking date—

Some dates may start out with no sexual intentions, but when there’s mind-blowing chemistry, sometimes you end up in bed together.

If you sleep with a man on your first date, the outcome of your relationship depends on the willingness of you and him after the fact. So, if both of you are ready to explore this relationship further and wish for its happily ever after, then you need to follow specific advice for making their relationship last more than one funky night between the 1800 Egyptian thread count sheets. You’ll want to have good dating habits if you’ve already slept with a man.

Don’t have sex for a while if you had a one night stand

If you were physically intimate with your partner on your first date, it is better to stop that practice for quite a few dates until you know if the guy is there just for sex or he really likes you.  Meet in public, like coffee shops and restaurants so you won’t be tempted, to jump him right here right now.

Chemistry does not mean he’s the one for you. Want to know . . .

Romantic young African couple enjoying wine

How to turn a hookup into a relationship? 

Of course, you do! Here’s the first course of action.

Get to know him (and see if you actually like him, because he could potentially suck as a person in general).

You can spend these meetings knowing each other well so that both of you will be aware of the strengths and weaknesses of the other partner. If you had great chemistry, the rose-colored glasses are probably as thick as the bottom of an expensive vino bottle. 

Can a casual relationship turn serious? 

It can— or not.

You can find out the common interests or goals that can bind you together for something longer lasting. Do you have similar financial goals? Does he want kids, or not? Are you both churchgoers or not? Is family important to him? Make sure you have similarities on the big stuff. And make sure he doesn’t have any of your deal breakers, like gambling, drug use, smoking, swearing, or whatever things you won’t stand for. 

The emotional bonding, commitment, and mutual respect between the partners are essential for a stable relationship, which is more important than mere physical intimacy. Many relationships end in early breakups only due to the lack of this secure connection between your hearts. If your heart’s not in it, or his heart’s not in it, there will be someone left feeling lonely even if you have a “relationship” together. 

How do you know when a relationship is getting serious?

If you can pursue some common passions together (and have fun doing things together), this is a good sign. He calls you texts you and makes dates with you is a sure-fire sign.

When you get to know a man, both of you will come to know each other’s hobbies. If a guy is a really into football and watches every Sunday, and Saturday and you hate football, would you be happy eating Doritos, chicken wings and drinking cheap beer every weekend? Or you can leave the house and hang out with friends instead.


Think about what makes you happy in a relationship before you commit to the wrong guy

If both of you love road biking, sweet! You can pursue your passions together. You may go out together, watch movies, have dinner at your favorite Italian place every month, go see Beyonce, or decide which craft cocktail bar has the best Manhattan, then these common goals can keep you bonded. 

I knew one woman who quit drinking and the main hobby they had as a couple was drinking together on the weekends. When this happened, their relationship started falling apart. 

So if you have common passions, this can help you connect on many levels. 

What’s the difference between talking and dating?

This is big in younger generations. If you’re “talking” with someone, it could lead to dating, but it’s not dating yet. Some couples love to talk out problems, and others don’t. Think about your communication style. When I would have a disagreement with an ex-boyfriend, he would want to discuss his feelings and talk about it for hours. This was not my thing, and it pushed me away. I wanted just to forget it and move on! What is your preference? And what is his?

Conversations about personal feelings and likings work for some people more than others. It’s is good to know down the road if you’re exclusive or not. If you want your next partner to be your one and only if you wait to have sex again, you’ll know quickly if he wants more. There are things that make a man fall in love.

Some people may find it hard to express themselves verbally during their dating sessions, especially men.

Men are often not as communicative as women, but some are (like my chatterbox ex). 

Many women expect men to talk about their feelings like their best girlfriend. But guess what? A man is a man, and he has a man’s brain. If you want your man to talk about his feelings like your girlfriend, you want him to have a traditional women’s brain. And I’m going to guess the thing that turned you on in the first place was that he was manly— not womanly. 

Men need time to process emotions, just like you need time to read a map (and what woman wants to do that?)

We’re different beasts here, and understanding our differences can help your relationships down the road. There are other ways to connect with a man besides talking about feelings.


One of my favorite things to connect— is to not talk to a man

Sounds weird, right? Spend some quiet moments together and look into each other’s eyes. You’ll feel a lot when this happens. However, it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, though. So do it a few seconds at a time. 

It’s good to not always fill the air with chatter. Let him wonder what you’re thinking about sometimes. Not talking all the time drives men crazy, because it throws them off! 

You can connect with a man by doing activities (not just the sexual kind!)

You can play pool together, go swimming, running or mowing the grass (not my personal fave, haha!). Many men are doers and are more relaxed to connect when they’re actually doing something. Not pinned down to have “the talk.” No man ever wants to hear, “We need to talk,” in an overly serious tone. It scares the bejesus out of him. 

If things are progressing eventually, you want to . . .

Introduce your partner to your family and friends

And let him meet your friends. Your family might pretend to like him. My parents and even my son have done that in the past. But if you have good a good friend or two, hopefully, they’ll be honest. 

Moreover, your parents, siblings and other close relatives may be able to point out the visible deal breakers in that person like being unemployed for a year, that he treats you poorly, or has terrible personal hygiene habits, which might have escaped your love-stricken eyes. 

So you will have a better chance of being beware of that person if he/she does not seem to be the right match for you. It will help you make the right decision about spending more time with this guy or not.

couple holding hands

Look at the good aspects of your potential partner

If a couple ends up in getting physical on their first date, usually it’s women that feel disgusting after one night stand, due to the traditional social norms and conditioning. However, men are generally found to be perfectly okay about sleeping with their dating partner on their first meeting. Not many men will turn down some nookie, but there are a few out there. Keep your thoughts on the positive aspects not on the negative ones. You can do it with practice and attract more love with the law of attraction.

So, whatever path you decide to take it’s the right path for you. If you want to see how things play out, make sure the guy follows through, is respectful to you and other people. A man’s actions will show you how much value he places on you, and this is the utmost importance! 

If you decide to make a one night stand memorable to him and yourself from the get-go . . .

Just realize he might not turn into the husband you’ve been dreaming about since you were a little girl. But he could. 

So it is necessary for women to either avoid this undesired physical intimacy or simply accept it as a part of their relationships with their dream guys. You shouldn’t fear that the society or their families will pass derogatory remarks for your choices because it’s your life and it’s your choice.  

If you are dating the right man, then it is not worth being scared of disrespectful names that conventional society used to call women who are open-minded about their sexual life. There are many out there, and we’re still making progress as a society. 

Many couples have slept together on their first dates, and are now in happy relationships.

Some couples don’t have problems with physical intimacy from the beginning. For some, it’s the norm.

Actually, the success of a relationship depends on the mentality and maturity of the partners, their mutual love and respect, as well as the desire of spending time together. So if you had a one night stand, don’t feel bad about it. It can quickly turn into a happy relationship if you play your cards right. If you want to up your game you can discover a secret psychological loophole in every man’s mind, in this video by my friend Michael Fiore and learn how to make a man love you forever.