My Boyfriend Has ED: How Do I Cope? [15 Things You Can Do Today!]

can't get his banana up

Help! My boyfriend has ED! Being in a relationship means loving and accepting one another, flaws and all. Some women and men may see erectile dysfunction as a problem (and it can be!). However, you can also handle it like a grown-up. 

If your boyfriend has ED — you can learn how to deal with erectile function in a relationship

Every experience in any relationship is about learning and loving. It can also be a way to grow and learn some great communication skills. Even if it’s a new relationship. Or you had a one-night stand and want it to become more (even if he had trouble getting things going), you can create a good relationship. 

 

couple playing in the ocean

There are ways to deal with erectile dysfunction in a relationship

All relationships have quirks. They are what make us unique, even though at times some of these habits can truly drive you crazy. With some gentle reminders, which may feel like nagging at times, these annoyances can eventually be reversed. 

However, it’s quite possible your partner may be dealing with something larger that can’t be fixed with a simple reminder. Sticking a post-it-note on his Johnson won’t solve this issue. Erectile function isnt’ the only relationship problem couples face. There’s also the non-commital man problem. And there are solutions to that too!

 

light bulb on chalkboard bubble

When there is erectile dysfunction anxiety in your relationship, there are 15 ideas that can be fun and bring you closer!

  1. Suggest that he sees a physician. This isn’t the most fun one, but I’m putting it in the list anyway because it’s important. Keep reading and you’ll understand why.
  2. Be supportive. Even when things aren’t’ looking up (pun intended). 
  3. Suggest sex therapy or counseling
  4. Some people are all about the little blue pill, and others are not. Maybe this will work for both of you.
  5. Don’t make his ED a big deal. Even if he’s not getting a hard-on, you can still have lots of fun intimate time.
  6. Keep your cool and if you start a discussion about it and he gets emotional, take a break. Wait until his and your emotions are back to normal before you talk about it again. It’s hard to think logically if you’re emotional. 
  7. Ask your partner what turns him on in a playful way. 
  8. Exercise with your partner.
  9. Try out some role-playing.
  10. If you’re making him dinner, skip the burger and fries. Make something healthy.
  11. Get some fun sex books and be open-minded.
  12. Read him an erotic novel.
  13. Talk about your fantasies. 
  14. Ask him to help you pick out some sex toys.
  15. Get Ian Kerner’s Book, Passionista: The Empowered Woman’s Guide to Pleasing a Man (it’s a GREAT book for women and you’ll learn A LOT about man parts!).

 

Believe it or not, it’s quite common for men to experience erectile dysfunction. While this issue can be corrected, it’s important for you to be encouraging and understanding as your partner works through the trials and tribulations ED can sometimes bring.  Keep reading to learn about ED and ways in which you can cope upon discovering your boyfriend is experiencing it. 

 

pretty woman doctor with stethoscope

What is Erectile Dysfunction?

According to Mayo Clinic, erectile dysfunction can be defined as the inability to get and keep an erection firm enough for sex. And if you want some loving, this can present a challenge. 

Another common symptom associated with ED is the lack of sexual desire. In many cases, ED can stem from a physical condition such as heart disease, diabetes, or obesity. 

However, stress and neglecting your mental health can also be the route of the cause. While having occasional trouble achieving an erection is normal, if erectile dysfunction is a common issue, it’s important to consult a medical care provider. 

As a significant other, you should encourage your partner to discuss his battle with ED (no matter how embarrassing). 

There are many treatment options available. Ignoring ED will only hurt you both, as well as your relationship in the long run.

 

question mark on blackboard

What should I do if my boyfriend has erectile dysfunction?

The first step is to look for the signs. It’s usually pretty obvious. If you can’t get past third base, well . . .  then it’s time to have a talk.

And remember this . . . If your boyfriend has trouble getting it up, it’s not your fault! 

If you notice erectile dysfunction with a new partner, there are some obvious signs. f your partner is unable to achieve or maintain an erection during intercourse or seems less interested in sex, it’s likely he’s experiencing this issue. There are also surprising signs you’ve never even considered. 

 

Uncommon signs of ED

Some not-so-common signs of ED include swollen, bleeding gums, high blood pressure or cholesterol, and trouble sleeping. These more uncommon signs are especially important to look out for and may even help when it comes to early detection. 

It’s important to understand that if your partner seems disengaged in the bedroom, it’s not something you should take personally.

 

loving couple outside

Be supportive and loving (he needs this right now). 

Erectile dysfunction can devastate a man’s self-esteem and confidence, and if left untreated, it may even lead to depression. Men see the power in their penis. And if it’s not working right, it can be hard him (and you) to deal with. Really hard.

One of my clients couldn’t get it up. He had a really hard time dealing with it. I learned about this while he was in the hospital. His heart was only working at 20%! The poor guy thought something was wrong with him and there was. It wasn’t his privates, it was the actual function of his heart.

This is why, as his significant other, it is crucial to be supportive and encourage him to face this issue head-on to make sure his heart is healthy and on so he can get a hard-on and you can have a fulfilling sex life and healthy relationship

If you’re unsure of how to approach this subject with your partner, these tips from Web Md can give you some guidelines on how to approach this hard-to-handle topic.

 

Can ED Ruin Your Relationship?

While ED may temporarily interrupt your sex life, as long as your partner is willing to embrace the available treatment options, you can get through it.  In fact, being there to support your partner while they navigate through their ED may even help bring you closer. 

While it’s totally normal to feel a bit neglected during this time, you should not give up on your partner or the relationship. Keep in mind that there are plenty of ways for you and your partner to maintain intimacy outside of the traditional methods of intercourse. 

 

Erectile function or not attracted?

It’s probably something deeper than not being attracted to you. If he wasn’t attracted to you, why would he stick around in the first place? ED is a top health problem for men. It often means there is something physical going on.

 

If you’re worried about turning him on, instead, let him worry about turning you on! 

This is a great book you can “gift” him. Trust me. The She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide To Pleasuring A Woman book is the gift that keeps on giving! Send it to him in the mail and don’t tell him you ordered it. (Sneaky, I know). You’ll be glad you sent it. 

When it comes to relationships, being romantically involved with a partner who experiences erectile dysfunction should be viewed as a small speed bump rather than a relationship damaging pothole. 

Unless he’s not willing to talk, won’t listen or open up, you’ve got a bigger problem on your hands.

 

couple talking about erectile dysfunction

Talking about erectile dysfunction can be an uncomfortable topic to approach, but you can do it!

However, with the right treatment plan and a strong support team, any man who is willing to face this issue can overcome it. 

As the significant other of someone facing ED, or any health-related issue for that matter, you must decide if you are willing to stick by this person through good times and bad times. Keep in mind that fighting through the tough times can help you both grow and in turn strengthen your relationship in the long run.  

Dr. Steven Lamm, in his book, The Hardness Factor, talks about a British study that cited men who have three (or more!) orgasms per week had 50% fewer heart attacks and strokes than men who didn’t have as many. 

According to that study, sex (or masturbation) does a man’s body good! You can still have a spark in your relationship. And I hope you can overcome this together and make your relationship more incredible, close and fun. 

 

  

  

About The Author

Dina Colada

Dina is the founder and love ambassador of Dina Colada. She is on a mission to help you create epic LOVE in your life. Learn how to heal your heart, flirt, change your negative beliefs and find the real love that you are looking for!

Leave your facebook comments here!

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field